Another very, very long week. I was incapacitated again until Tuesday. I’m thinking that is going to be the pattern. . . .and a lousy pattern it is too. So sick I have to drag myself, step by step through the day. No rest for there are responsibilities to keep up with. Dogs to take care of, garbage to tend to, meals to try to prepare, mega tons of dust and dirt to try to minimize in the house (although I admit that is the last on my list). Every step a conscious effort to stay upright and not topple over from the dizzy headache that permeates every moment. Oh to give that all to someone so I don’t have to deal with it.
What’s worse, is that my house is such a disgusting pit that I am embarrassed to even have anyone come over to help or drop things off that I might need. I am forced to live in ways that are not acceptable to me and I am too damn proud to let others see. What a jackass. Just as my weight, it says something about the person to others, whether a truth or not, the statement is made. Deal with it, Joann.
After Tuesday, things lightened up a bit. Somehow, though now I have this excruciating earache. At least I think it’s an earache. I can’t really determine if it’s deep in my inner ear or my glands in my neck. I actually took a Percocet tonight because I can’t even swallow without sending me though the roof. (I never realized how much a person swallows during the course of a day . . . or even an hour). If it’s not one thing, it’s a @#$@# other. Just my luck.
Went to training tonight. I had 2 classes scheduled. DiAnn couldn’t make it and let me know an hour before the classes. I’m glad I had already determined I was capable of going. Too late to cancel at that point, but I was not really capable of teaching both the classes, still nowhere near well enough. If I had the proverbial, cherished full-time job, I would still be calling in sick. . . . and it would be very legitimate. The Level 1 class was good. Low key but we did a lot of good work. I did a lot of it sitting down.
I was so pleasantly surprised. One of my clients (actually the client’s dog) gave me a “boo boo” present. . . a small cactus, and card (from the dog). It was so nice to be thought of like that. Then I got another gift from a Boy Scout that I was helping with a Dog Care badge. A wonderful card, small carry satchel, and a bunch of tulips. I was really touched. I think he was very sincere. We talked quite a bit about dogs tonight and he seemed VERY interested. This is the second Boy Scout I have done this for. Brennan was the first and he too was a joy to work with. What a great sense of humor he has. Kept me constantly laughing. I love doing things like this. This is why I want to focus Pack Leader on working with Kids and Dogs. I just have to find a way to make it happen.
I have the best clients in the world! I can’t tell you how lucky I am. I can’t imagine the same relationship being offered to other trainers. I have quite a few who think I’m worthwhile. Several even consider me akin to family. I’m very lucky.
Only Henry showed up for Level 2 (besides the 2 Level 1 students that showed up by mistake to the wrong level). So we were out of there by 8 pm. It’s a good thing too. I was at the end of my endurance. I was getting the chills, completely achy, and could barely move (and don’t forget my ear 🙁 ). I got home and actually left the dogs in their kennels for about 15 minutes while I went to lie down. I never do that, it’s just not fair to them. When I let them out, though, they were wild. . .. playing, jumping, barking, tussling. They were having a ball and I was having a hard time just staying upright. I let them play like crazy till 10 pm and then put them to bed. That’s not before I was caught under several of their play sessions and have the scars to prove it. I hate to be grumpy when they are just doing what they are supposed to do, but it is very hard.
Into bed and passed out immediately and then, guess what. . . up at midnight because I can’t sleep because I’m in so much pain. Can’t get at all comfortable. Oh well. Another night of no sleep only to set me up to struggle during the day. At least I don’t have to do anything tomorrow and can hopefully get to bed without feeling completely beaten down.
This weekend is Easter. Haven’t heard from the girls at all. Would be nice if there were people who cared enough to check in at least regularly to see how I was. There are a few. . .. Mom, Aunt Anne, and Sheri. That’s about it. Notice my kids are not on that list. Am I being obstinate to take offense when my oldest chastised me saying that “You know, Mom, you can call me to let me know how you’re doing, too. I don’t have to be the one to always call”? You know, I might be wrong, but yes, she does have to be the one to call to see how I’m doing. As a result, we don’t talk much. Jenn is better, but touching base once a week just doesn’t seem right either. If there is a thing as Karma, I would like to know how I earned this.
Ok, the Percocet is kicking in, thankfully it appears to be working somewhat and the pain is not as sharp. Going to try to get some sleep so I can not be a complete bitch tomorrow.
Have a good night all. Talk to you soon
–joann